Counting – Sharing at vesper on 28.3.05

I worked as an accountant and Finance Manager for 7 years before I quit and started my own business. My American colleagues used to call me a ‘bean counter’ because this was the American nickname for financial controllers.

Given my background, counting should be second nature to me. Surprisingly this was not the case. I had a habit of not counting my change when I paid for groceries, I always forgot to check if I had money in my purse before I left home, and didn’t know how much I paid for the things I bought. This was partly due to my poor memory and my easy going personality- I simply couldn’t be bothered with details.

After joining TTC I have been forced to cultivate the habit of counting. I have to count my credit subjects, the number of words for my assignments, and count-down to my exam or assignment deadlines. I was very amazed when I realized this change of habit, so one day I decided to jot down all the lessons that I’ve learned about counting.

I discovered that there are 2 ways of counting—the positive and the negative. In accounting terms we call them the debit and the credit. In accounting, debits are not necessarily bad and credits are not necessarily good, depending on where you place them in the final accounts.

Positive counting can be a wonderful experience. I remember on my 34th birthday, I decided to count my blessings. As I wrote in my diary all the blessings that I received in those 33 years, tears kept rolling down my cheeks because I didn’t realize how blessed I was until I started to count my blessings. When we begin to focus on the good things that God has given us, our hearts will be filled with thanksgiving and joy. All the sufferings and complaints suddenly disappear and we are awe-struck by His sovereignty. We will be humbled by the abundance of God’s grace and will feel ashamed of our weaknesses and ungratefulness. We are then once again motivated to be His faithful servants.

Counting in the negative way is not necessarily bad. When we count down to the ‘Days of disaster’ such as exam dates and assignment deadlines, we gain a sense of urgency to work hard and receive an instant renewal of strength to overcome weaknesses. We suddenly become more disciplined and efficient. In stress management we are told that stress is a necessary evil.

In Ps 90:12 Moses asked God to teach him how to number his days so that he may gain a heart of wisdom. This verse may have a deeper meaning to the final year students than the rest of us, but we may apply it in the TTC setting to mean: don’t spend too much time chit-chatting in the cafeteria when we can’t finish our assignment, don’t choose more subjects than we can handle and spend quality time with the Lord.

Negative counting involves the counting of our failures. We tend not to recall the embarrassing moments of our lives, or how many times we’ve sinned against God, and how often we’ve given in to temptations. But these can be very humbling lessons that we should remember. Let me share the story of a Chinese idiom “wo xin chang dan” (meaning lying on firewood and tasting gall-bladder). During the ancient warlord period, the Yue kingdom was defeated by Wu kingdom and the Yue emperor Go Jian was imprisoned. In order to restore his kingdom, he forced himself to sleep on fire wood and taste gall bladder everyday without fail. The pain of the firewood and bitterness of the gall bladder were meant to remind himself of the absolute shame and bitterness of his hardship and defeat. Many years later, with the help of his loyal minister Wu Zhi Shue and the famous beauty Xi Shi, he managed to overthrow the Wu kingdom and regained his territory. This story teaches us that reliving the memory of failure gives us the determination to overcome it in future.

Ecc3 teaches that there is a time for every thing. There is no mention of ‘a time to count’ in this passage, but I believe I will not be wrong in saying ‘there is a time to count and a time not to count’.

There are many things we should count, and many other things which we should not count, including the number of times we are disappointed with someone, hurting words that upset us, and all the wrongs of others, simply because our countless sins have been forgiven by God on the cross. God’s forgiveness is total and complete. We should learn the same kind of forgiveness. Jesus’ last word on the cross is: “It is finished” meaning “by His death, all debts have been cancelled”. He has cancelled all our debts, but have we cancelled the debts of others? Or do we still hold them accountable like a loan shark?

Two weeks ago a church member’s 8 year-old daughter was diagnosed with brain tumor and had only 6 more months to live. Doctors advised the parents to make her last 6 months as happy as they could. When my co-workers in church learnt that I was about to study full-time, they were quite upset. One of them even asked me to drop the idea because he felt that I could make better use of my time serving God in my present capacity ( I think he was probably hinting that I was too old to study). In fact I did ask God the same question, and His answer is: “You don’t have to know how much longer you can serve. Just serve me everyday as though it is the last day of your life.” In this respect, we don’t have to do our counting. God is the One Who prepares our final accounts and He’ll know where to place all our debits and credits.

Paul said in Acts 20:24: “I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” KJV says: “But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself”. Let’s follow the example of Paul.